She and I had a cookoff one day. Since I kick ass at everything, the food i cooked (lobster rissoto) stomped her food into oblivion. hte lobster actually came back to life, walked over to her food (some french piece of crap), stomped all over it, took a dump on it, and walked back to my dish where it promptly died again so the two of us could enjoy eating it thanks to my supreme culinary skills.
so even though i kicked her ass at cooking, i did respect her abilities, which is why I let her cook my meals when I was out kicking ass at everything. too bad the lobster didn't.
(Maddox is my inspiration for posts like this.. so though my posts are original writing, the concept is not, and I must give credit to he who truly rules, maddox.)
some stats
8/12/2004 01:53:15 PM
this is more for my information - i post it here for easy access. but if you're interested.. read on. they're times others have taken to get to milestones on the whitney trail.
portal to trail camp: 5 hrs
portal to trail camp: 7 hrs (heavy rain)
portal to trail camp: 5 hrs, 10 minutes
portal to trail camp: 5 hrs
trail camp to trail crest: 1.5 hours
trail camp to trail crest: 1.75 hours
trail camp to summit: 5 hours (rain)
trail crest to summit: 1.5 hours
trail crest to summit: 2 hours
portal to portal: 12 hours
portal to portal: 13 hrs (source says average is 15 hrs)
portal to trail camp: 5 hrs
portal to trail camp: 7 hrs (heavy rain)
portal to trail camp: 5 hrs, 10 minutes
portal to trail camp: 5 hrs
trail camp to trail crest: 1.5 hours
trail camp to trail crest: 1.75 hours
trail camp to summit: 5 hours (rain)
trail crest to summit: 1.5 hours
trail crest to summit: 2 hours
portal to portal: 12 hours
portal to portal: 13 hrs (source says average is 15 hrs)
noah's ark!
8/12/2004 01:06:21 PM
remember when i posted last week about hiking backnone mountain in maryland in hardest rain i've ever seen? well, it must be a trend, because last night, and early this morning, we've had severe thunderstorms, oogles of rain, and damaging winds (it blew leaves off my basil plants. bastards!) we had a thunderstrom this morning at about 8:30 am - and morning thunderstroms are extremely rare. i've seen a tuhnder-snowstorm, also a rare occurance - but until today never early morning thunderstorms. and the rain! just as hard as backbone mountain. in fact, the only other time i've seen rain like this outside of the last two weeks is when i was working with the board of education last summer in staten island.. i'm driving downhill a road, in my 2-month old car, with about 6" of water (i'm not exaggerating here - there was literally 6" of water) flowing down the hill with me. I was amazed that I was even able to keep control of the car - it was that bad. water was shooting OUT of the stormdrains like a geyser.. and i saw cars trapped in water 2 feet deep, 100 feet from the harbor (actually the kill) that the water was flowing into.
that is how hard it rained this morning, last night, and on backbone mountain..
it was crazy.
oops, gotta go back to the machine. i'm doing more laundry today than any human being should be allowed to do in a week...
that is how hard it rained this morning, last night, and on backbone mountain..
it was crazy.
oops, gotta go back to the machine. i'm doing more laundry today than any human being should be allowed to do in a week...
writing something just to write something
8/11/2004 05:16:46 PM
yesterday i heard that a friend i'm in business with might be growing back his beard. i sheeked in horror, and was relieved when i found that it was untrue. Beards. I would like to grow a beard, but two things prevent me from doing so - one being that i can't grow anything other than peach fuzz. even if i could grow something, i wouldn't do it because that lumberjack look that all men secretly envy can really hold you behind - or so i've heard all my life.
i wanted to verify some of this information and see what's out there- so i did a web search. i was astounded with some of the things i found. firstly, of course, there were lots of news articles about how beards can devastate a man's chances for success - literally! some went into reasons, others just gave the statistic - but aside from the occassional pro-beard site, all indicators were that beards keep people from trusting you and will kill you professionally no matter how clean you keep it.
now, i mentioned the pro-beard sites. sites like these are interesting phenomenons, where a social no-no is pointed out and people actually create organizations committed to actually transforming the societal impressions of whatever issue they happen to feel strongly about. the perfect analogy is this - last week, on 1010 Wins there was a story about an organization called NAAFA - the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance. I came across this group about a year ago and, being fat myself, found these people to be in complete denial about their weight situation. Now, an organization like this isn't completely bad - but overall it does much more harm than good.
This person on the radio was talking about how the media (by the way - the media has become the scapegoat for everything bad about society - and because of this it is quickly becoming less significant to blame the media about anything because people don't believe it) has influenced society into believing the "lies" that being fat is unhealthy. she expanded (no pun intended) on this statement by saying that fat doesn't actually cause heart disease, diminished athletic ability, kidney failure, shortened life-span, etc., but it was actually good for you and that she loved (ready for this??) her "big healthy belly!" I'm not kidding here, folks! this was actually said on the air on the biggest news radio station in the country. And why, do you ask, is the media convincing society with the lie that being fat is bad for you? so they can be a part of the conspiracy (another concept that has lost significance) between themselves, the doctors, and the diet pill companies to sell more weight loss products.
this is disgusting.
ok, i said that NAAFA isn't completely bad. so though their premise is bad - fat people should always try to lose weight. in fact, if you're listening to NAAFA and starting to believe them, stop. be honest with yourself. you know the truth. being fat is not a good thing - and you should do what is healthy to reduce the weight - which brings me to my point. there are lots of unhealthy ways to reduce weight, and people who are considering these unhealthy ways should consider that it might be healthier to stay fat than to do what they're about to do. an extreme example is heroin addiction. yeah, it'll make you skinny, but you were better off fat. the not-so-extreme subtle examples that have invaded society are things like weight loss surgery, ephedrine use, and low-carbohydrate diets. all will make you skinny, but none are particularly healthy for either the mind or the body. but there are healthy ways of getting into shape, and all fat people should look into these and strenghten their minds in the process. for the few people who truly can't lose weight - and if you think you're one of these people, you're probably not - but if you are, you don't need an advocacy group, you need medical assistance.
what a tangent that was! maybe i'll write more about that in a future column, but this column was about facial hair. i think i made my point though.. these organizations trying to promote beard use are overlooking one critical thing - it's people's subconscious decisions to have less trust for a man with a beard, which is difficult for even themselves to influence, much less some obscure pro-beard advocacy group.
as far as my friend, i think i'm going to take the recommendation of another friend in california who takes his shaving very seriously and take him to a "shaving boutique" (god that term makes me feel gay) in the city called "the art of shaving." for $45, not only will you get the best shave you've ever had, but you'll also, for 45 minutes, feel like a man - a wealthy man - a business man - who knows what works in business and takes his image very seriously.
i wanted to verify some of this information and see what's out there- so i did a web search. i was astounded with some of the things i found. firstly, of course, there were lots of news articles about how beards can devastate a man's chances for success - literally! some went into reasons, others just gave the statistic - but aside from the occassional pro-beard site, all indicators were that beards keep people from trusting you and will kill you professionally no matter how clean you keep it.
now, i mentioned the pro-beard sites. sites like these are interesting phenomenons, where a social no-no is pointed out and people actually create organizations committed to actually transforming the societal impressions of whatever issue they happen to feel strongly about. the perfect analogy is this - last week, on 1010 Wins there was a story about an organization called NAAFA - the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance. I came across this group about a year ago and, being fat myself, found these people to be in complete denial about their weight situation. Now, an organization like this isn't completely bad - but overall it does much more harm than good.
This person on the radio was talking about how the media (by the way - the media has become the scapegoat for everything bad about society - and because of this it is quickly becoming less significant to blame the media about anything because people don't believe it) has influenced society into believing the "lies" that being fat is unhealthy. she expanded (no pun intended) on this statement by saying that fat doesn't actually cause heart disease, diminished athletic ability, kidney failure, shortened life-span, etc., but it was actually good for you and that she loved (ready for this??) her "big healthy belly!" I'm not kidding here, folks! this was actually said on the air on the biggest news radio station in the country. And why, do you ask, is the media convincing society with the lie that being fat is bad for you? so they can be a part of the conspiracy (another concept that has lost significance) between themselves, the doctors, and the diet pill companies to sell more weight loss products.
this is disgusting.
ok, i said that NAAFA isn't completely bad. so though their premise is bad - fat people should always try to lose weight. in fact, if you're listening to NAAFA and starting to believe them, stop. be honest with yourself. you know the truth. being fat is not a good thing - and you should do what is healthy to reduce the weight - which brings me to my point. there are lots of unhealthy ways to reduce weight, and people who are considering these unhealthy ways should consider that it might be healthier to stay fat than to do what they're about to do. an extreme example is heroin addiction. yeah, it'll make you skinny, but you were better off fat. the not-so-extreme subtle examples that have invaded society are things like weight loss surgery, ephedrine use, and low-carbohydrate diets. all will make you skinny, but none are particularly healthy for either the mind or the body. but there are healthy ways of getting into shape, and all fat people should look into these and strenghten their minds in the process. for the few people who truly can't lose weight - and if you think you're one of these people, you're probably not - but if you are, you don't need an advocacy group, you need medical assistance.
what a tangent that was! maybe i'll write more about that in a future column, but this column was about facial hair. i think i made my point though.. these organizations trying to promote beard use are overlooking one critical thing - it's people's subconscious decisions to have less trust for a man with a beard, which is difficult for even themselves to influence, much less some obscure pro-beard advocacy group.
as far as my friend, i think i'm going to take the recommendation of another friend in california who takes his shaving very seriously and take him to a "shaving boutique" (god that term makes me feel gay) in the city called "the art of shaving." for $45, not only will you get the best shave you've ever had, but you'll also, for 45 minutes, feel like a man - a wealthy man - a business man - who knows what works in business and takes his image very seriously.
minus 148º
8/10/2004 01:34:49 PM
you know, sometimes i think i read mountaineering books because they have really cool titles that kind of capture the essence of the self-punishment of the hobby. into thin air (good book). left for dead (no good). and currently, i'm reading something called minus 148º, which is an an account of the first winter ascent of Mt. McKinley, a place so inhospitable, so harsh, that it's weather in the summer time is colder than the summit of Mt. Everest in the wintertime.
longtime readers of this blog (j/k) know that I am kicking around setting as a goal an ascent of Mt. McKinley .Under ideal conditions, it takes a three-week expedition-style trip to gain the summit. It is a huge achievement for anybody - and would be an especially challenging goal for me. An attempt to hike whitney without being in tip-top shape can actually make sense - to do the same thing on McKinley borders on madness. So a goal to hike McKinley would have to include a fitness regimine on an olympic scale - i know of one guy who ran a marathon in the hills at 14,000 feet in Colorado in preperation for a McKinley ascent - Me? I can hardly run a flat 5k at sea level.
Oh, and then there's mountaineering training and experience. Hardly anybody ever goes up Whitney in the summertime with an ice axe and crampons, or any other specialized winter gear. Well, needless to say, not only do you need all that crap for McKinley, but you also need to know how to use it, not to mention experience. Plus the whole mindset probabaly is unlike anything I've ever experienced.
Anyway, it is books like minus 148º that I can learn as much about it as possible - and my booksmarts with regard to this issue is enourmous. I can probably tell you more about the route than some people who have actually taken the route - but as far as me actually going, reading all the books in the world won't prepare me.
So, how do I plan to prepare for this trip that I'm not even sure I want to do? Well, Whitney is a start - hardly anything like McKinley but at least it'll put me at a higher elevation than I've ever been. Then there's the minor fact that it will indeed be the hardest thing I've ever done - just like McKinley will probably be the hardest thing I ever do if I do it.
Besides, it's one of the 50 state highpoints. 49 is cool, but its not the same as 50.
longtime readers of this blog (j/k) know that I am kicking around setting as a goal an ascent of Mt. McKinley .Under ideal conditions, it takes a three-week expedition-style trip to gain the summit. It is a huge achievement for anybody - and would be an especially challenging goal for me. An attempt to hike whitney without being in tip-top shape can actually make sense - to do the same thing on McKinley borders on madness. So a goal to hike McKinley would have to include a fitness regimine on an olympic scale - i know of one guy who ran a marathon in the hills at 14,000 feet in Colorado in preperation for a McKinley ascent - Me? I can hardly run a flat 5k at sea level.
Oh, and then there's mountaineering training and experience. Hardly anybody ever goes up Whitney in the summertime with an ice axe and crampons, or any other specialized winter gear. Well, needless to say, not only do you need all that crap for McKinley, but you also need to know how to use it, not to mention experience. Plus the whole mindset probabaly is unlike anything I've ever experienced.
Anyway, it is books like minus 148º that I can learn as much about it as possible - and my booksmarts with regard to this issue is enourmous. I can probably tell you more about the route than some people who have actually taken the route - but as far as me actually going, reading all the books in the world won't prepare me.
So, how do I plan to prepare for this trip that I'm not even sure I want to do? Well, Whitney is a start - hardly anything like McKinley but at least it'll put me at a higher elevation than I've ever been. Then there's the minor fact that it will indeed be the hardest thing I've ever done - just like McKinley will probably be the hardest thing I ever do if I do it.
Besides, it's one of the 50 state highpoints. 49 is cool, but its not the same as 50.
monday..
8/9/2004 01:49:45 PM
drove back from baltimore last night. left about 6pm. got home at 2:00am. why, you ask, should it take so long to drive a relatively short distance? well, there were actually three factors - an unusually long (but yummy) meal at waffle house which delayed us an hour, a quick trip to long island to pick up the baby which delayed us maybe 90 minutes, and, most frustratingly, traffic, which probably delayed us a good 2½ hours.
i know to expect some traffic when coming up the turnpike on a sunday night after a beautiful, mild summer weekend. the surprise to me is that the traffic started south (SOUTH!!!) of trenton. sitting on the turnpike, you really can't bail out past I-195 - you just have to deal with it, which would be stop and go for a few miles, 40mph for a few more miles, repeat. well, the radio, abruptly turned on at the first sign of traffic early enough to surprise the hell out of me, sounded like the apocalypse 0- an hour at the george. an hour at teh holland. just under an hour at the lincoln. turnpike is screwed. the new york thruway is screwed. the new england thruway is screwed. the lie is screwed. the long island parkways are screwed. the garden state parkway is screwed. the staten island crossings.. well you get the point. so getting into NY, which i'd have to go through to get to long island, was going to suck. i decided to get there through staten island, where I knew I would hit traffic on the outerbridge crossing, minimizing my exposure to the turnpike's traffic as early as possible. then, because i knew the west shore expressway and the staten island expressway were going to be disasters, i decided to take the streets through staten island as i learned them during my contract last summer and fall. arthur kill road, etc. it was all right, though the traffic lights in staten island have some sort of personal vandetta against me and i was ready to start chopping them down. the verrazano wasn't that bad, actually, and the BQE was pretty slow going through brooklyn. by now it's well after midnight, i'm tired as hell, the baby is still in long island, and i would have at least another 90 minutes of driving.. i wasn't thrilled.
anyhoo, today i'm exhausted. the baby decided that he wanted to wake up early - i decided that for one day he'll go hungry for an hour. i just didn't have it in me to get up and start a day yet.. i was, in a word, beat.
and i still am. my brain isn't running on all cylinders yet. i managed to go out and buy a suit today, but that's about all i've accomplished, and it's almost two in the afternoon.
in the mail today came my whitney reservation confirmation. #50,000. cool. one of my partners, i think, is overestimating the effort by telling me how much I'm underestimating it - the truth is, frankly, that we're both right. i know it's not going to be easy, but it's not a mountaineering expedition either. he wants us to bring ice axes, crampons, ropes, whatever- and i don't know if he knows how to use that stuff - i know i don't. early september on whitney is probably the best time to hike it though - new snow is unlikely, and all of the old snow would have melted by then. so i think, barring bizarre weather, that the hike will be nothing more than a walk up hill. that said, it's a really long freakin' walk up hill. 11 miles to the top, with over 6000 feet of gain. at 14,000 feet. you can read below to see my acclimization plan, but the fact of the matter is that chad is right when he says that you have to be in great shape to do it. better shape than i am in. so, why am i doing it? it's not macho bullshit, rather its an intense desire, a personal test, a realization of a goal, a progression of another goal, and a learning experience. the good news is that since the whole thing is class one, bailing out is simple - just turn around and start walkign down. today's permit came with a newsletter-style information flyer that said 17,000 people hiked up mount whitney in 2003 - so we won't exactly be alone. whitney is a pretty safe way of getting some high-altitude hiking experience with large elevation gains, long distances, exposure, and amazing views. even if i do have to turn around, it will certainly not be a loss. it will be dissapointing, but still worth it.
there is a possible 4th person coming - a business partner that i hooked up with in baltimore. he's thinking about it - and it will be great if he comes with.
i know to expect some traffic when coming up the turnpike on a sunday night after a beautiful, mild summer weekend. the surprise to me is that the traffic started south (SOUTH!!!) of trenton. sitting on the turnpike, you really can't bail out past I-195 - you just have to deal with it, which would be stop and go for a few miles, 40mph for a few more miles, repeat. well, the radio, abruptly turned on at the first sign of traffic early enough to surprise the hell out of me, sounded like the apocalypse 0- an hour at the george. an hour at teh holland. just under an hour at the lincoln. turnpike is screwed. the new york thruway is screwed. the new england thruway is screwed. the lie is screwed. the long island parkways are screwed. the garden state parkway is screwed. the staten island crossings.. well you get the point. so getting into NY, which i'd have to go through to get to long island, was going to suck. i decided to get there through staten island, where I knew I would hit traffic on the outerbridge crossing, minimizing my exposure to the turnpike's traffic as early as possible. then, because i knew the west shore expressway and the staten island expressway were going to be disasters, i decided to take the streets through staten island as i learned them during my contract last summer and fall. arthur kill road, etc. it was all right, though the traffic lights in staten island have some sort of personal vandetta against me and i was ready to start chopping them down. the verrazano wasn't that bad, actually, and the BQE was pretty slow going through brooklyn. by now it's well after midnight, i'm tired as hell, the baby is still in long island, and i would have at least another 90 minutes of driving.. i wasn't thrilled.
anyhoo, today i'm exhausted. the baby decided that he wanted to wake up early - i decided that for one day he'll go hungry for an hour. i just didn't have it in me to get up and start a day yet.. i was, in a word, beat.
and i still am. my brain isn't running on all cylinders yet. i managed to go out and buy a suit today, but that's about all i've accomplished, and it's almost two in the afternoon.
in the mail today came my whitney reservation confirmation. #50,000. cool. one of my partners, i think, is overestimating the effort by telling me how much I'm underestimating it - the truth is, frankly, that we're both right. i know it's not going to be easy, but it's not a mountaineering expedition either. he wants us to bring ice axes, crampons, ropes, whatever- and i don't know if he knows how to use that stuff - i know i don't. early september on whitney is probably the best time to hike it though - new snow is unlikely, and all of the old snow would have melted by then. so i think, barring bizarre weather, that the hike will be nothing more than a walk up hill. that said, it's a really long freakin' walk up hill. 11 miles to the top, with over 6000 feet of gain. at 14,000 feet. you can read below to see my acclimization plan, but the fact of the matter is that chad is right when he says that you have to be in great shape to do it. better shape than i am in. so, why am i doing it? it's not macho bullshit, rather its an intense desire, a personal test, a realization of a goal, a progression of another goal, and a learning experience. the good news is that since the whole thing is class one, bailing out is simple - just turn around and start walkign down. today's permit came with a newsletter-style information flyer that said 17,000 people hiked up mount whitney in 2003 - so we won't exactly be alone. whitney is a pretty safe way of getting some high-altitude hiking experience with large elevation gains, long distances, exposure, and amazing views. even if i do have to turn around, it will certainly not be a loss. it will be dissapointing, but still worth it.
there is a possible 4th person coming - a business partner that i hooked up with in baltimore. he's thinking about it - and it will be great if he comes with.
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